When the topic of being broken-hearted comes to mind, most people think about how they would feel after losing a significant other, since this is what society has associated with having a broken heart. The truth is, there are many different situations that can cause a person to become broken-hearted, such as failing a test that they were so sure they would pass, not getting the job of their dreams, the death of a family member or pet, or even losing in a competition (dance, sporting event, etc.) that they practiced extremely hard for. I think that whenever a person truly loves something or someone, they always tend to "give their all", and what that means is that they have given a part of their heart to whatever or whomever it is that they love. So when a person loses something or someone they love, they also lose a piece of their heart. The ending result tends to be a wave of intense emotions and pain, or in other words, the person experiences heart-break.
Being heart-broken can have many negative side effects, and can cause a person's life to spiral downward. Even though people are affected differently when they experience a broken heart, I think there are a few common characteristics of the broken-hearted. Majority of broken hearted people experience:
1. Excessive Crying
2. Feelings of Worthlessness & Self-Hatred
3. Low Self- Esteem & Insecurity
4. Unhappiness & Depression
These effects are common, but the list can go so far as to having drastic effects on one's life; heart break can lead to physical illnesses, eating disorders, and even suicide in extreme cases.
It may be hard to imagine that something so common as heart break can have such serious consequences. EVERYBODY on the planet Earth will experience heart break; that's the way of the world! Alas, there is a good part! The good thing about being heart-broken is that it is not permanent, at least it does not have to be. Over a serious of observations of my own personal experiences and the experiences of those close to me, I have developed a simple, three step approach to mending a broken heart. Now even though the steps are fairly simple, recovery will not happen quickly, so patience is a necessity!
Step 1: Accept the Situation- don't be in denial! For example, one must fully accept that a relationship is over, meaning one should not have thoughts of getting back with a significant other. Instead, the person should be thinking of ways to move on, or to even meet other people.
Step 2: Accept that You Are Hurt- do not suppress your feelings of sadness or hurt, but face them! It is okay to admit that you are hurt, it happens to everyone! Once you cry your eyes out, you will get to a point where you can no longer cry, and it will be easier to move forward with your life.
Step 3: Forgive!- this does not apply to only forgiving those who hurt you, but this also applies to forgiving yourself! When one is broken-hearted, they start thinking that they made a stupid mistake in whatever choice they made, whether that choice was a person or even if they chose to believe that they were good enough to win; however, this is not so! Forgive yourself for thinking this way, for you did not make a mistake. You took a risk or a chance at life, and there is nothing wrong or stupid about that! Also, when it comes to forgiving others, you will find peace when you accept that what's done is DONE.
Fairly simple right? Stay committed and you will be on the road to success! However, as the road to mending a broken-heart comes to an end, it may come to mind that the heart may break again, and that is perfectly fine! The moment one becomes comfortable with the idea that their heart may break multiple times, is the moment that they are no longer broken-hearted. I have always believed that forgiveness leads to understanding and peace; accepting future heart break is a perfect example of this, for when one understands and accepts something as negative as heart break, one will truly know peace. So when the heart is fixed, what to do next? Love on! There is one thing in life that one may never give up on, and that is love, for "a life without love is not a life worth living". Of course there will be doubt in the future, but because it is already understood that the heart can be broken again, the doubt will be over looked. Keep on loving and never be ashamed of the scars on your heart, for a scar after a battle shows that you have been hurt, but you were not defeated!
The above article was written by Kahina Ray